A Little Christmas Shopping For Myself

My mother and I have this inside joke where, starting the first of December when we both begin our Christmas shopping, I say, “Hey now, no getting yourself any gifts this year,” before we part ways in the mall and delve into the world that is the onset of the Christmas mad rush.

It all started probably 6 or so years ago when my mother arrived home, flung open the front door with bags in both hands and shouted, “I’m home!!! And I got myself some Christmas presents.” Being a devout Christmaser, and by that I mean one who insists that there is a traditional way to do Christmas, I was outraged. How could she?!? Who would take me to the mall now??? What if she shopped for the rest of our family without me??? What if she bought herself what I was planning to get her??? In short, I was devastated.

It turned out what she’d bought for herself was a black Calvin Klein dress that was on sale, and a matching pair of pointy-toed black pumps that were also on sale, so really, I wouldn’t have picked those out for her anyways. Regardless, I was still stewing about it all. To me, that was as close to Christmas blasphemy as it got. Well, second closest. The closest is when people buy something for themselves and then give it to a friend, partner, or child to wrap up for them. That’s just unspoken of. It completely defeats the surprising element of unwrapping a Christmas present filled with wonder at the unknown of what could be hidden underneath the wrapping. Yes, I was very into Christmas as a child, giving every aspect of the holiday great thought, and essentially laid out a list of 10 Christmas Commandments that simply had to be upheld. It went something like this:

  1. Thou shalt not purchase a gift for thyself with the intention of having it be gifted to thee by another.
  2. Thou shalt not purchase a gift for thyself under the pretense that it is to thee and from thee; that is not an appropriate address for a Christmas present tag.
  3. Thou shalt not put up a Christmas tree before the first of December, or after December 20th; Christmas deserves careful planning.
  4. Thou shalt not have a Christmas tree devoid of coloured lights.
  5. Thou shalt not consider desserts with fruit in them to be a finisher for Christmas dinner. Fruit has its own food group for a reason; it doesn’t need to infringe on chocolate’s “alternatives” group.
  6. Thou art obligated to put up Christmas lights, both on the interior and exterior of the residence.
  7. Thou shalt purchase a Christmas specials TV guide and mark all dates and times of specials in a calendar so that thou shalt not miss a single one.
  8. Thou shalt not procrastinate Christmas baking of shortbread and chocolate chip cookies, as Santa Claus deserves the best. Giving Santa Claus store-bought cookies is spelling out for him that he is the spokesperson of a second rate holiday, unworthy of home baked goods..
  9. Thou shalt never give a gift card as a present; so impersonal.
  10. Thou shalt never leave the house on Boxing Day and, though permitted, it is seriously frowned upon to change out of pajamas on this day.

I was an odd child. That’s really all that needs to be said.

Anyways, well this year I broke my second most cherished rule: I got myself a Christmas present. Well . . . two. But they’re small!!! And they were on sale!!! And they were the last in their colour!!! I bought myself two nail polishes:

IMG_4863

O.P.I. Nail polish in Bogota Blackberry

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O.P.I. nail polish in You’re Such a Budapest

I remember being younger and being convinced that naming nail polishes and lipsticks was an actual career that I would one day have. There I’d be, in my office filled with products (free ones that I could take home and try out, of course) just sitting and spinning around in my swivel chair saying, “Hmm . . . you’re a nice shade of blue. What should we call you??? . . . Blue Christmas . . . ??? THAT’S IT!!!”

So yes, this is my Christmas Confession. Forgive me Father Christmas, for I have violated the second Christmas Commandment, and have already painted my nails with the Bogota Blackberry. They look really nice though Father Christmas, so maybe we can just chalk this up to me being a first-time offender and just say I get off easy this time. Ha, won’t be telling my mother about this though. She’d see it as the a-okay to buy Christmas gifts for herself for the rest of her life.

So what are some of your Christmas Commandments and traditions that can’t be broken in your families???

And have you ever bought yourself a Christmas present??? What was it and why???

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4 Responses to A Little Christmas Shopping For Myself

  1. My mom tries to keep some things a surprise but now that we’re older we normally pick out our own gifts and then just act surprised!

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  2. I have shamefully broken your rule about coloured lights on the tree! Apologies! I definitely agree about the giftcards though, there’s not much thought behind getting someone one, and I pride myself on thought out gifts! 🙂

    Like

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